Una verdad simulada

A conversation between a shaadi.com groom-to-be (GTB) and the father of potential suitor (FPS):

FPS: “Do you have any vices?”

GTB: “I don’t think so. BTW, I am not sure what you mean by ’vices’.”

FPS: “Well, do you drink, smoke or eat meat?”

GTB: “I don’t smoke, I drink socially and I eat meat fairly regularly.”

FPS: “Sir, do you really think I can trust my daughter with a person who drinks or eats meat?”

GTB: “Why not? If by drinking, you mean I come home stumbling and half-concious, I don’t. Social drinking essentially means that I enjoy a glass of beer or three occasionally when I go out with my friends. I eat meat; I see no reason why that would make me untrustworthy.”

FPS: “Well, I can’t trust my daughter with someone who drinks and eats meat.”

GTB: “If I were you, I’d rather that my son-in-law treats my daughter with love, respect and dignity and who does not abuse her than him being a vegetarian.

The above conversation is typical of dysfunctional way our society works. Daughter is a responsibility; I need to find a suitor for her; suitor who confirms to “social norms” and not one who’d love and respect my daughter.

Tags: Ludicrous, Hypothetical Conversations by Niket
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Recently, I had a conversation with a (fictitious) friend of mine, J. J was born in a poor family. He had to struggle to get a good education. He got a graduate degree, went on an off-beat path and became successful. He now earns well and owns an independent house (bungalow) in the suburbs. We were chatting the other day; I happened to joke that he doesn’t need to “show off” his wealth.

To this, J replied that he never understood what you would mean by “showing off” one’s wealth. He asked me what my reaction would be if I said I am showing off my education. He earned every paisa through hard work, paid all his taxes and all his money was honestly earned. There have been times when he hasn’t met his wife for a month at a stretch (sometimes longer) due to the nature of his business. If I am justifiably proud of my achievements as an educator, if me living in a different city than my wife is always referred in a matter-of-fact manner, why is his pride in equal amount of hard work looked upon as a “show off,” and by extension something bad. He isn’t prone to using his position to getting away with something others wouldn’t.

Why are my “accomplishments” inherently better than his? The answer, of course, is that they aren’t.

Tags: Hypothetical Conversations by Niket
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